Step Away From The Computer...

This week is going to be pretty insane and very busy for reasons that I do not feel like explaining right now because that would be tedious and time consuming but what I will tell you all is that I was up until 1 a.m. last night playing this game.

The game does not have instructions and I spent a few okay, like ten minutes trying to figure out what the hell the object of the game was. I am not, however, going to tell you how to play it right now because if I had to sit there scratching my head for an embarrassingly long amount of time then damnit, so will you. Do you think I'm just going to hold your hand and spoon feed you everything your whole life? Who am I, your mother? You're on your own on this one. I wish you luck.

Once you figure out how to play the game, you're probably going to be like, "What? This is so stupid. How could Ally have played this for like two hours last night?" And trust me, I see your point but you must understand that it is about so much more than just the game itself. It is about certain elements of this game, certain things that just amuse me beyond comprehension.

One of those things is the awesomely weird boppy Japanese semi-techno music in the background mostly because when I hear this music I imagine a cute little spiky-haired Japanese boy playing the keyboard. And he's the kind of kid who's serious about his keyboarding, you know? He nods his head as he hits the keys.

Another one of my favorite things about this game are the chirpy little Japanese exclamations in the background when something happens. My favorite one is the one the chick says when you start another level. Of course I don't speak Japanese and have no idea what the hell she's saying, but the more I hear it, the more I'm convinced that she's saying, "This game is sparkle!" And I have admit, I agree with hyper Japanese voice-over chick. This game really is sparkle.

One thing I don't understand, though, is why hyper Japanese voice-over chick insists on saying "Game Over" in English. I think she does it just to rub it in more. Like, not only am I going to flash a graphic in front of your face letting you know that you suck at a game involving ladybugs, but I am also going to shout it in your own language.

But my most favorite thing about the game are the ladybugs themselves. I find the variation in their energy levels quite humorous. Some of them are spinning around super fast like, "Yeah! Party time! I'm psyched! Let's do this!" and the other ones are spinning really slowly like, "Wow, I definitely shouldn't have had that last shot of tequila." I have the feeling that those ladybugs are the ones who are going to wake up in a strange room tomorrow and not know where the hell they are.

I guess I should mention that while I was playing this game last night I was also watching Law & Order: SVU, although "watching" is probably a strong word to use because if I had to describe to someone what happened during that show, it would be something like, "Um...well someone committed a crime...and then the detectives were like, 'We're gonna catch them!' and then they talked to some people and then there was a trial and then they talked to some more people THE END." The ladybugs, they are so distracting.

I don't think I realized how bad it had gotten until I found myself sitting on my bed with dark circles under my eyes and my fist raised in anger shouting, "DAMN YOU, LADYBUGS!" I then shut my laptop and forced myself to go to sleep. And then this afternoon as I was about to write this post, I opened up the game again and played it for twenty minutes.

These ladybugs have taken over my life. I think I may need an intervention.