Okay, so the Oscars aired tonight for those of who live in a cave and there were quite a few surprises, particularly in the category of Best Supporting Actress which everyone had predicted to go to Cate Blanchett, but which ended up going to Tilda Swinton. I know that everyone had predicted the Oscar to go to Cate, by the way, because I am a total celebrity/Hollywood whore as anyone who knows me will tell you and when my People magazine arrives in my mailbox you can safely bet that I'll be sitting on my ass for the next two hours reading it cover to cover.
I adore Cate Blanchett and would have loved to seen her win, but it didn't completely bother me to see Tilda win because I truly do believe that Cate Blanchett is the next Meryl Streep and that she has many more years to add to her Oscar collection and also to wear really awesome dresses while looking all pregnant and glowy.
But anyway, back to Tilda. This woman is an enigma. I've always suspected that she was an eccentric, odd person but that feeling has been magnified ten times since reading this article. Also, she looks like a bug. Like one of those scary, stick-like ones that I always find in my shower in the summer and have to call my stepdad to kill.
But seriously. Read that article. You will not be disappointed. Not only were all my suspicions confirmed, but it also left me with a burning question, one I wish to be answered almost as much as how fax machines work: How does a woman who looks like Conan O'Brien manage to score a twenty something boytoy who travels the world with her and then is perfectly content to return home to her other lover who is also the father of her twins? Am I the only person whose mind is boggled by this?
[Side Note: I was originally going to post the article here and insert my witty comments because believe me, witty comments there are many, but it's late and I'm exhausted from having spent the last four hours staring at Jon Stewart and imagining what our babies would look like.]
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48 comments:
Three things-- first off, as a fellow Oscar junkie I can sympathize with you. I didn't see that Best Supporting Actress going to Swinton either.
But you can't diss her, because she definitely burned George Clooney in her acceptance speech and that takes cajones.
Lastly, Jon Stewart's mine.
Ally, Ally, Ally. You forgot to add a picture of her to compare to O'Brien. Though I loved the buggy simile.
As for you, du'loque, how does your new blog layout work? WHERE ARE THE COMMENTS?
I am languishing in a sea composed of history assignments, newspaper articles, vegetarianism, Photoshop, and silence, with a sea of '50's era fish and a cynical shark named Holden Caulfield swimming around me, attempting to devour me, my computer, my essay, and my mind.
And yet the comments are gone. Where is the justice, I ask you?
Also, the semi-promised lynkage doth not exist. And yet...AND YET.
(And a yeti or two.)
Really. I need some chocolate (at midnight. damn.) Can you tell?
I shall endeavor to link you once Alice responds to my marriage proposals.
Or, you know, once I'm not feeling lazy.
And yes, I know, the comments have disappeared. I'm going to sit down tonight and reverse engineer the XML code until I can figure out exactly how to get the comments to show up.
This might involve invoking the Old Ones, so wish me luck.
Kristin Chenoweth sang on the Oscars =] Did you see it? It was very good, but she always is. She's like my version of du-Loques Natalie Portman. Except Kristin is more talented.
[But don't let him know that I said that!]
Is that Tilda's (what a name, by the way) natural hair color? Because it looks semi-natural in the picture you posted, but at the Oscars it looked like she was mixing her shampoo with neon-tiger-colored spraypaint.
Haha, oh Alex, Alex, Alexia.
At first I was going to reply with a threatening comment, but then I realized that you don't deserve hate, just pity.
If you really love that shrill, bug-faced monstrosity... I'm sorry.
With the right medications, though, I'm sure you can pull through this bout of insanity.
Du'loque: With a flourish and a bow, I thank you.
As for Alice-related marriage proposals and the absence of laziness...er, good luck with that.
The Old Ones themselves are no less fearful than the wrath they shall incur and the havoc they so desperately wreak.
Losers. Those things once deleted my entire template, back in October. It was pink for about a day.
Pink.
Alex: I heard her, but I can't remember what she sang. I'm usually only an award show watcher around Fashion Week and notoriously awesome dress-design shows (Ally: Balenciaga!). I only want over to see Miley Cyrus's dress, which was, by the way, totally simple and gorgeous. Note tones of jealousy. Damn stars in gorgeous expensive designer dresses.
Du'loque again: Alex, Alex, Alexia? Kudos for semi-stolen originality. Your survival team now has THREE coconuts to live on. Yay!
*team cheers and hungrily snatches coconuts*
And now, it's time for our next show-Guys Try Bitchy, season three!
Anyway.
Hate and Pity were best fwennds in preschool. Since, Hate is taking anger management classes and Pity is a total bitch.
Shenme? Did you already beat me to the "Alex, Alex, Alexia" thing?
And I owe you an email, I know-- I'll get on that once I'm done painting a life-sized mural of Natalie.
I was under the impression that it was similar to my "Ally, Ally, Ally" from before only you changed yours and made it more interesting.
Speaking of Natalie, I managed to add V for Vendetta into my history paper. On the 1950's. Know only that I did it for you.
Or try to be convinced; really, it's your choice.
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